Tag Archives: memoir

Nerves of Steel: Fighting for a Life by Robert Garrett (Book Review)

“You have ALS.” Three words obliterated the path of a life.

Now a new route was under construction and at the end sat a monstrous, relentless steamroller on a direct collision course.

“How long do I have? When will this hit me? What about my family?”

“Am I brave enough?”

Those are the devastating questions author Robert Garrett had to begin to answer the moment he was diagnosed with ALS while in his strong and thriving early 40s. He had a loving marriage, two healthy, beautiful young boys, and the career he had worked so hard for 20 years to achieve.

Now Garrett had to begin this new journey — one filled with devastating trials and exhilarating triumphs – while, as if blindfolded, he navigated the physical, emotional, and psychological obstacles of dealing with a ruthless terminal illness as his body began dying out from under him.

Written solely with dictation and eye gaze technology, Nerves of Steel is also a journey of self-discovery, as Garrett learns to overcome nearly impossible obstacles and try to somehow push through all of this with his family and sanity intact. It’s an intimate look at a real life: raw, honest, dark, uplifting, and inspiring with a cannonball splash of humor Garrett refuses to lose.


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I received a complimentary copy of this book from Reedsy Discovery.  I voluntarily chose to read and post an honest review.

 

ALS, or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, is a progressive neurodegenerative disease affecting brain and spinal cord nerve cells. It’s the boogyman that no one wants to face. Unfortunately for Robert, he has to face the monster head-on. ASL strips away a person’s strength and functions by interrupting the signals between nerves and muscles. When it does this, your muscles wither and die. As the disease progresses, the afflicted become more dependent on others until the condition takes away a person’s last breath. That’s a horrifying thought – knowing life will never be the same, thanks to the incurable disease. 

Robert first noticed something was amiss when his left hand began cramping and taking a claw-like shape. His left bicep was also losing muscle mass. He was subjected to multiple MRIs, underwent a nerve conduction test, and an EMG (electromyography), spinal tap (lumbar puncture), and had a chunk of his peroneal nerve (branch of the sciatic nerve that supplies movement and sensation to the lower leg, foot, and toes) removed for testing. With each test, Robert hoped his greatest fear wouldn’t become a reality; he didn’t want the diagnosis of ALS. No one does. Robert’s reaction to the diagnosis broke my heart. I cried with him. I looked at my kids and wondered how they would handle the news he had to share with his young sons. Despite every painful moment Robert has endured, the stares from strangers, he didn’t want to miss a moment with his family. Before ALS, he was an active family man. With ALS, he didn’t want the debilitating illness to take any more from him and his family than it already has and will in the future. 

Robert is lucky; he’s surrounded by family, friends, and co-workers that only want to improve his quality of life. No one could ask for a better mother-in-law than Janice. A widow, she moved into their apartment/basement and runs the house while Erin works full-time. She cooks, shops, cares for her grandsons (Walter and Henry), and helps Robert as needed. Then there was Carissa, a mother of four, who gave him unlimited access to her American Express for rides to work. Robert’s job also helped make his work life more manageable and graciously sponsors an annual 5k in his honor. The list of “angels” is long, so please read the book to discover how each act of kindness changed his life for the better. 

Robert appreciates and acknowledges many people who have helped or are helping him today. Nurses. Friends. Family. He makes it a point to show his gratitude. No one can deny he loves his family and being a dad. While I was touched by his “wants” for his sons, nothing moved me as much as chapter 36. It was a list of things he missed doing. Hugging his wife and kids…tossing a frisbee…eating with chopsticks…licking chip dust off fingers…holding a remote…This is only a small fraction of the items on the list that’ll break your heart and leave you emotionally drained. 

Robert has ALS, but he wants you to remember that he had a life before the disease, which he shares. He also wants you, the reader, to know he is still fighting. He still has wants to fulfill, and I hope he achieves each one, especially his dream ” to be standing tall and strong, wrapping my arms around my family in a tight hug.”

ASL is a brutal disease that only knows how to destroy a body without caring about how its actions affect a person’s mental, physical, and emotional state. Robert’s story will inspire other sufferers to fight back, love those around them, and make every moment count. 

I have nothing but love and respect for Robert and his story. He made me laugh. He made me cry, A LOT. I was in awe of his strength. I recommend you read his life’s journey.

 

Heart Rating System:
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Meet the Author

Robert Garrett grew up on the Space Coast in the heyday of 80s Hair Metal, feathered hair, and the Space Shuttle. Writing found him in the offices of the Tampa Tribune, where he worked as a janitor. He spent the next seven years covering sports for the Tribune as well as other publications.

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LIAM: The Boy Who Saw the World Upside Down by R. Janet Walraven (Book Review)

What does a teacher do with a teenage student who can’t seem to read, write, speak, or want to mix in with others? What does a parent do when their child is continually bullied throughout elementary school without teachers or administrators seeming to care? Where is a safe place for students with challenges that no one seems to understand?

This is a true story. When Liam came to my classroom, I knew something was off. What was I supposed to do with this student who was extremely withdrawn? I didn’t know, but I knew I had to find out ̶ a challenge that I could not ignore. This book isn’t only about bullying, though there was plenty of that. It’s about a boy who needed help to allow his potential to surface. If you are a teacher, a parent, or anyone who has witnessed, or have themselves experienced this, you need this book. LIAM will give you hope.

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I received a complimentary copy of this book from Reedsy Discovery. I voluntarily chose to read and post an honest review.

 

There was a time when anyone who didn’t catch on at the same pace as others were labeled “retarded.” R. Janet Walraven notes thanks to former President Obama passing Rosa’s Law, “mental retardation” and “mentally retarded” were replaced with “intellectual disability” and “individual with an intellectual disability.” Unfortunately, this change in federal law did not replace the use of these terms in state law. The author also states in chapter eight, “In 1975, President Gerald Ford signed a law guaranteeing that every child with a disability would get Free and Appropriate Public Education (FAPE). This is supposed to be included in the Individualized Education Programs, IEP’s, that special education teachers write. From there, they have options of working with the child onsite, sending them away for therapy, …or waiting for litigation.” R. Janet Walraven states that many teachers look the other way at a child’s apparent struggles because they lack support in costs and help from the administration. LIAM: The Boy Who Saw the World Upside Down is a prime example of when the administrator fails a teacher, fails to support the students and makes doing a teacher’s job harder than necessary. 

Thirteen-year-old Liam has made a move from public to private school. His parents made a choice, not out of a need for better education. No, they are transferring him because they feel he’s unsafe in public school. Ms. J, the 8th-grade teacher at the private school, has a full class, but the principal, Mr. Chadwick, doesn’t care. That’s a recurring theme with him. He doesn’t care about the students’ safety, best interests, or helping the faculty. He abuses his power on several occasions. 

Ms. J. could’ve been like Liam’s other teachers and accepted Liam as “mentally retarded” and let him float by. Liam’s parents, even Liam, accepted the label. Since Ms. J didn’t have proper special education training, the parents and Liam wouldn’t have faulted her. However, Ms. J was different from the other teachers. She thought Liam was mislabeled. She saw his intelligence, his potential. Ms. J stood up to the principal. She put her foot down when the bullies chants shredded Liam’s confidence. She sought outside help for Liam and even drove him to his sessions at Hope Clinic. 

Hope Clinic properly diagnosed Liam, and he was not “retarded.” Liam has visual perception dysfunction. The book explains it in length, but (basically) Liam’s brain wasn’t computing what his eyes saw. He needed special glasses and exercises to retrain the brain. Thanks to Ms. J and her cousins, Liam never missed an appointment. Liam could afford specialized care thanks to his parents selling their home and moving into a trailer. I was angry to see the colossal sacrifice his parents had to make but also touched by their display of love. 

LIAM: The Boy Who Saw the World Upside Down was FULL of emotions. I wanted to cry when the boys tore him down with their chants. I wanted to cry again at his graduation. My heart nearly burst when Willow asked Liam to join her in Jump Rope for Heart and the school newspaper. I cheered Liam when he repeatedly showed the world they were wrong about him. 

I’ve worked in mainstream and special education classrooms. I’ve seen how people treat students that need extra help. Basically, I’ve run into my share of Mr. Chadwick’s. However, I also had the great pleasure of working with teachers who resemble Ms. J. They go the extra mile and then a thousand more. 

Ms. J didn’t know to teach Liam (at first), but she didn’t give up on him. Students like Liam are highly intelligent. They only need to discover a way to show it. It could be reading glasses. It could be having questions read to them. I know teachers are overwhelmed, overworked, and underpaid, but this story is a prime example of what can happen when teachers, administrators, and parents work together. 

I encourage educators and parents of children with intellectual disabilities to read this book. It’s inspirational. It’s heart-warming. It’s worthy of five stars! 

Be sure and look at the bonus material at the back of the book. Meet “Liam” and his best friend “Willow.” See where they are now. View writing samples from Liam. Also, check out appendix C: Characteristics of Dyslexia.

 

Heart Rating System:
1 (lowest) and 5 (highest) 
Score: ❤❤❤

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Meet the Author

 

R. Janet Walraven, Silver Award Winner (Readers’ Favorite International Book Awards) has written historical romance, a teacher-mentor book, children’s book, & historical fiction. She lives in New Mexico with her companion, Mal, her best critic & support. She loves to read, write, garden and travel.

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The Shaping of a Diamond by Desiree Batiste (Book Review)

“A poem is a moment frozen in time – the words like a photograph. They capture the tears that you were too broken to cry, the emotions too strong to process, the joy too pure to forget and lock it away in time. When a poem is read and shared, any similar moments or experiences felt by the reader will trigger the same emotional response in them that the author captured in that moment, and will allow those emotions to flow freely. In this, poetry is very healing, therapeutic and cathartic.” Desiree Batiste

CONTENT GUIDANCE: This book explores aspects of mental health challenges and contains depictions of self-harm, physical and sexual abuse. These aspects may be difficult for some readers. Please read with care.

The Shaping of a Diamond is a poetic journey through the most emotional moments of author Desiree Batiste’s life. Life cut deep, and Desiree was beaten down repeatedly throughout her life. But with each facet, she became the diamond she is today. From childhood through present day, from surviving child abuse to heartbreak, having kids, domestic violence, divorce and mental health issues – The Shaping of a Diamond leaves out nothing and is a raw, uncensored look at the pain which shaped, inspired, and pushed her to her limits, as well as the moments which healed and saved her. This compilation of poems written by Desiree over a 27-year period contains works from the following genres: Motivational, Emotive, Adult, Inspirational/Uplifting, Moods, Romance, Death/Loss, Spirituality and Mental Illness Awareness. Desiree’s goal in sharing this book with the world was twofold: to provide healing and closure to herself for all of the traumatic experiences she endured and to provide strength, understanding, inspiration, motivation and encouragement to others who may find themselves currently in similar circumstances.

Trauma, sadness and loss have a tendency to make people feel like they are isolated and alone. It becomes harder to function and to carry on. By creating this book, Desiree has reached out to any and all people who have had similar experiences and feelings to let them know that ‘we are all in this together’. Her survival enabled her to achieve inner peace and start the wonderful life she has now, and she believes if she can achieve it, anyone else has same chance at peace and happiness. Rough patches in life do not have to dictate its permanent course: we, as individuals, do that.

These poems are all based in fact, and are feelings captured during the best or worst moments in Desiree’s life. As pain is often captured in the poems because they were written in the moment or soon following the moment, some of them are dark-themed and very raw in their emotion. The point of writing like this was to highlight those extreme human emotions – emotions which we all feel and share in common when we are hurt or we struggle – and reach out a metaphorical hand to all people out there. Her hope is that her poems may help others to be encouraged, inspired, uplifted and save them some of the painful struggles she went through during the darkest times of her life. Desiree also hopes her words inspire people to open up and talk or write about their own painful and joyous moments. Life will continue to surprise us, test us and devastate us. It is what we choose to do with those moments that will make a difference – for each individual, for each life…the venue of expression is yours. Desiree’s hope for each and every person who reads The Shaping of a Diamond is that they find answers, comfort, peace, joy…and to know that there is at least one “someone” out there that understands what they are going through, and cares. Where feelings can be shared, one is never alone.

 
 
 
 
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Reedsy Discovery.  I voluntarily chose to read and post an honest review.
 
 

The Shaping of a Diamond is a collection of poems by Desiree Batiste that covers memorable moments from childhood to now. Desiree speaks openly and honestly about depression, relationships, abuse, and hopes for the future. They didn’t pull any punches or sugarcoat anything, which I respect. Everything they’ve gone through, the good and the bad, have shaped them into the person they are today— on a path to a bright future. 

Before eachfacet of the life (chapter), the author summarizes their life during these times. Facet 1: Childhood background information spoke of her father, a disabled Vietnam vet, and her abusive, unhinged mother. Her mother wasn’t always the villain in her life’s story. But when she became one, the child’s inner light became dimmer. I didn’t see a “trigger warning” disclaimer for facet one, but it needs one. The subject matter might be emotionally and psychologically difficult for some individuals to read. I was in tears throughout this first section, especially when reading “The Promise.” It touched me on a personal level. 

As we enter her high school years, the author questions if God has it in for them (Things That Go Wrong). This is a common thought, a question when life seems to beat us down. We wonder if we did something in a past life to deserve this punishment. Does God hate us? What have we done, and why can’t we find happiness? Again, this is another poem that spoke volumes to me. During the poems connected to her “adulthood,” the writer sees God in a more positive light. Heaven will wash away their pain and sorrow. Religious people will agree as you walk through the pearly gates, all your pain, suffering, and sadness vanishes. 

Facet 4: The Pit of Despair discusses the author’s relationships, beginning with “You Can’t Hurt Me Anymore.” Again, due to the subject matter, I must issue a trigger warning disclaimer. It might cause an extreme emotional response: PTSD, panic attacks, dark thoughts, etc. Again, in this section, I found myself reaching for Kleenexes. I lost my father, a serviceman, and reading “My Father’s Eyes” made me think of him and all he’s missed and will miss. Her “dream” made me cry even harder because she reminded me that even though my father was not beside me, at least he was not in pain anymore. That does give me some solace. 

Desiree Batiste and I have many things in common, including how we escape from reality: music, dance, and writing (Facet 5: Sweet Escapes). All three quiet my mind when darkness takes root. 

Though darkness is a common theme in the writings, Facet 6: A Love Story contains more uplighting poems, and my tear ducts thank you! It was nice to see the author found happiness, passion, and love. However, things took a dark turn in the next section. Family should be a tight-knit function, but hers is falling apart at the seams. Desiree is a strong woman, and it took an enormous amount of strength to handle everything life has thrown at her and for her to share her story with others. 

She, like so many of us, carries scars from our past. They change us in ways we never imagined. But as she stated so eloquently, her turbulent past showed how “badass” she was. She’s a fighter, a dreamer, and, most importantly, a SURVIVOR. 

Desiree’s story will inspire others to keep fighting, don’t give up hope for a brighter future. I encourage you to read it, but (again) remember that many areas contain possible triggers. 

Heart Rating System:
1 (lowest) and 5 (highest) 
Score: ❤❤

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Meet the Author

Desiree Batiste was born in Mesa, Arizona in 1979. She has been diagnosed with PTSD and several anxiety disorders as the result of her past experiences. She graduated summa cum laude with her Bachelors of Science in Technical Management with Criminal Justice specialization in 2020.

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Three Milongas: One Metamorphosis by Tanguera Writer (Book Review)

Tanguera, an experienced tango dancer, thought she knew what tango was until three milongas, tango dance events, permanently changed her pale and egocentric life to what she had deeply longed for but never imagined to be possible.

An emotional, sensual, and spiritual recollection of real events and of the transformative power of tango.

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I received a complimentary copy of this book from Reedsy Discovery.  I voluntarily chose to read and post an honest review.

 

Three Milongas – One Metamorphosis by Tanguera Writer is a short story (under 30 pages) centered around Tanguera, an experienced tango dancer who, through flashbacks, attempts to articulate why she chose to dance. 

“Why do you dance?” It was a simple question that left the main star wondering how she could explain why they danced the tango. To answer this question, they reflected on the three pivotal evenings of dancing that impacted their life.

Going into the reading, I was familiar with the tango; a well-known dance capitalized on a famous dancing show. Milonga was foreign to me (no pun intended). The writer does give you background information on the dance. During this time, musical and dance terms are mentioned, which the author defines seamlessly. 

People dance for a reason: exercise, socialize, love competing, or they can resist the lure of the dance—like Tanguera. But, like any other dance, the tango needs to be practiced— a lot. The right partner and teacher can make all the difference too. Two bodies are moving as one. With the right partner, you can enter a state of pure bliss. The rest of the world fades away as you get lost in the dance. Dance can also be an emotional experience, unleashing your emotions on the dance floor. I’ve seen many dancers on tv shed tears, so I wasn’t surprised the experience (music and the dance) filled Tanguera’s eyes with tears. 

Each dancing memory was tender, sweet, or sensual, and I could see why they impacted Tanguera. While I thoroughly enjoyed the walk down memory lane, the file I received had many editing and formatting errors. I would advise correcting them, so it doesn’t affect their score from other reviewers. 

If you look past the missteps in construction, Three Milongas – One Metamorphosis is a lovely book that anyone, dancers or bystanders, can enjoy. 

Review submitted to Reedsy on 12/6/22.

 

Heart Rating System:
1 (lowest) and 5 (highest) 
Score: ❤❤

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Tanguera Writer

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The Mayor of Mardi Gras: A Memoir by Gregory L Fischer (Book Review)

New Orleans Mardi Gras parades date back to 1857. Many people attend Mardi Gras. Fewer people participate as members of a krewe, and still fewer work year-round as artists and float builders. My cousin McKinley “Mackie” J. Cantrell, III was one of the artists and builders who worked full-time to bring Mardi Gras to life. A third-generation float builder, Mackie’s grandfather began building floats during the Great Depression. By the mid-70s, “Big Mac” Cantrell had his own company, called McKinley J. Cantrell and Son and was captain of his own parade, the Krewe of Mardi Gras. Cantrell Floats lives on today, but Mackie died suddenly two days after Christmas in 2021. He was forty-seven. He was more of a brother to me, a mentor, who took me on to work with him for an entire year of Carnival preparation in 2011-12. This book is a telling of all my great memories of Mackie. It is a rare glimpse into New Orleans life from an artist’s perspective. As Mackie would say, “It’s a true story, stab-ah.”

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I received a complimentary copy of this book from Reedsy DiscoveryI voluntarily chose to read and post an honest review.

 

The Cantrell family has a long history with Madris Gras, dating back to the Great Depression. Their legacy is quite impressive. In The Mayor of Mardi Gras: A Memoir, Gregory Fischer shares fond memories and photos of Mackie Cantrell, his cousin – best friend – and honorary brother.

Every page is a tribute to the man Gregory lost just two short days after Christmas 2021. If you ever have lost someone, you know the pain Mackie’s friends and family have experienced and probably are still experiencing. I didn’t know Mackie, but I felt like I did through Gregory’s storytelling. 

Mackie was a Renaissance man, a person with many talents or areas of knowledge. He was an athlete in high school (football and wrestling), an artist, a musician, a singer, a songwriter, and loved books. His favorite was The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas. He could snowboard, rode a wakeboard like a pro, and welds. His artistic ability amazed me. I was blown away by the Flintstone vehicle. I could not fathom how in the world he created it. Just WOW! 

I’ve been to New Orleans, but I have not enjoyed the thrill of the Carnival Ball. I have seen photographs and news reports on the celebration but never really thought about the time it takes to bring a design to life or the toll it takes on a person’s body to create these elaborate floats and props. At Mackie’s passing, he made hundreds of floats and props. From the photos, he loved every moment he spent sweating over constructing and final touch-ups. 

Unfortunately, all parades were canceled in 2021 due to covid. Gregory stated Mackie worried about what 2022 would look like. Would they come back? Mackie’s work will be cherished and admired for years to come. His presence will be felt every year during Mardi Gras. And Mackie will be close to those in spirit—never far from Gregory’s thoughts. 

Besides learning much about Mackie, I learned a few things about Mardi Gras floats. One, the first float rolled out in 1857. And two, the floats have a port-a-potty on them. Fascinating! 

This book is a joy for anyone to read!

I want to end my review with parting words…

“I’m here for you. Come around anytime. You know where to find me.”

 

Heart Rating System:
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Score: 

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Meet the Author

Author Gregory L Fischer is a former Editor-In-Chief of the Weekly Citizen, The Chief, and the Post-South newspapers in Louisiana. He is currently the owner of Make It Write, a publishing services company in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where he lives with his wife and stepchildren.

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