Tag Archives: humor

January 18, 2020 · 5:00 am

Review of “Conspiracy of Ravens: Raven Crawford Book 1” – J. C. McKenzie

Raven Crawford knows better than to venture into the seductive world of the dark fae or agree to any of their salacious promises. She plans to pay off her debts so she can get on with her life and stay far away from the denizens of the Underworld.

Unfortunately, her numbskull twin steals from the most tempting and lethal fae of them all. Now, Raven must help the Lord of Shadows get back what her idiot brother stole. Her only weapons? Just a little ingenuity and a whole lot of snark. It’s suicide for sure, but she’ll do anything to protect her twin.

 

 

Shadows encased them. Her scalp prickled as if someone reached out and gripped her head with giant fingers. Raven twisted around to find a large figure blocking out the moonlight.

“You!” she hissed.

“Move.” Cole’s deep voice punctured the quiet forest and silenced Mike’s whimpering.

Before she could demand answers, Cole flowed forward, gathered them both in his arms and pushed them into the darkness of the trees. A shadowy film settled over them, much like the dark cloak when Cole had pulled her into the shadows at Bear’s apartment.

A branch snapped down the deer trail to the right.

Cold settled over her skin.

Moments later another large, looming figure entered the clearing. Luke. Again. She couldn’t lose these two dark fae. They kept hopping back into her life like rabid fleas.

 

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(review request submitted by the author for an honest critique) 

Conspiracy of Ravens is by far my favorite J.C. McKenzie novel! 

I loved how she didn’t limit herself to stereotypical shifting scenarios. Human body to ONE particular animal… No, not for JCM. JCM didn’t limit any character’s power, and the story was better for it. 

Mystery.

Passion. 

Love.

Anger.

Humor. 

Danger.

Magic.

Deception.

Heartache. 

Surprises. 

Plot twists.

You’ll find all the above in Conspiracy of Ravens. You’ll also find yourself eagerly grabbing for book 2 in the series, Nevermore. 

Special note to the author: I love how Raven curses. “Odin’s scrotum!” 😀

Heart Rating System:

1 (lowest) and 5 (highest) 

Score:  ❤❤❤❤1/2

 

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J.C. McKenzie is a book-loving, gumboot-wearing, unapologetic science geek. She’s the author of the Carus Series, an urban fantasy five-book saga published by the Wild Rose Press. Born and raised on the West Coast, J. C. sets the majority of her books in the Lower Mainland of British Columbia, Canada. She writes urban fantasy and paranormal romance with sassy heroines and brutish, alpha-type men.

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January 10, 2020 · 5:00 am

Review of “The Shop Before Life” – Neil Hughes

After two happy centuries in the prelife, Faythe is battling the most dangerous human emotion. She’s bored.

But when she accepts a once-in-a-prelifetime opportunity to become Apprentice at the magical Shop Before Life, her days become dreadfully interesting.

Now she helps customers with the most important choice they’ll ever make: who to become in the afterprelife–or “life”, for short. Will they be born on Earth with MATHEMATICAL GIFTS? Or perhaps they’d prefer DELIGHTED BY CATS?

But Faythe has questions of her own. Like–what exactly is in these jars of human traits? And who is the mysterious Supplier who creates them?

Unfortunately, these questions could awaken an ancient conflict and even destroy the Shop itself. They should maybe mention that sort of thing during orientation.

Management are going to be furious, but their divine punishment must wait. Right now, Faythe needs to discover the secrets of the Shop in order to save it.

If she fails, nobody will become themselves ever again . . .

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(review request submitted by the author for an honest critique) 

 

Life is a fickle b!tch. People are born. People live. People die.

People speculate what comes after death. Some people believe there’s a heaven and hell. While others stand firm in the knowledge, nothing is awaiting us in the afterlife. With all the discussion on the after, people rarely speak of the before. This is where The Shop Before Life became very interesting to me.

Whether you have faith in a higher being or not, this story will get you thinking. I can’t disclose the bombshell Faythe discovered when she met Management; however, I will briefly talk about the shop and the jars of traits.

 

Every possible trait was available to those who entered the shop.

1.) Grab a basket and browse the numerous aisles.

2.) See something you like, add it to your basket.

3.) Once you fill your basket and can’t carry anymore, head to checkout.

4.) Now, you are all set to journey to Earth and be born.

 

Sounds simple, right?! Ah, the simplest ideas and jobs often prove most challenging.

Have you ever been to the store and the shelves haven’t been restocked yet?

Something you want is out of stock?

Maybe your favorite store closed down?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then how upset did you become?

The people of prelife reacted in the same manner you’d expect a living, breathing person to behave. Yup, they went off the rails.

Life on Earth was affected because of the events happening in and around the shop.  I won’t say how though. (No Spoilers)

 

I encourage everyone to read this story. It’s highly entertaining, thought-provoking, and the perfect book for many age groups.

 

Heart Rating System:

1 (lowest) and 5 (highest) 

Score:❤❤❤❤

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As well as The Shop Before Life, Neil Hughes is the author of Walking on Custard & the Meaning of Life, a hilarious and useful guide to life with anxiety. Along with writing more books, he spends his time on humorous talks about mental health, standup comedy, physics, computer programming, and everything from music, video games, languages and pub quizzes. He struggles to answer the question “so, what do you do?” and is worried that the honest answer is probably “procrastinate.” He would like it if you said hello at enhughesiasm.com

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November 10, 2019 · 5:00 am

Review of “Projection” – Tabatha Shipley

No one types anything anymore. You simply think it, and it appears on the page. Sharing a memory with friends is as easy as recalling and sending it to a screen. The ubiquitous chip implanted in everyone’s wrist has made interaction with technology seamless and natural, almost making our tech an extension of ourselves. What happens when it goes wrong?

Emma Johnson has enough problems. School, boys, and her firm-yet-aloof dad are enough to keep her on her toes. But everything falls apart when her most embarrassing thoughts and memories start to appear on any device she’s near.

Why is this happening? How can she function in a world of technology when technology seems to be out to get her? Who can she trust? Will she ever be able to find a new sense of normality?

Find out in Tabatha Shipley’s new YA Science Fiction novel, Projection!

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(review request submitted by the author for an honest critique) 

Present-day, there is an RFID chip that people can get placed somewhere in their hand, under the skin, that allows a person to unlock doors. It’s an ID badge of sorts. No one has created a chip that attaches to the nervous system yet, but Elon Musk’s company NEURALINK is working on a prototype that will allow a scientist to manipulate brain synapses. It’s a highly complicated and comprehensive invention, but Elon doesn’t know the word simple.

I can understand the reasoning behind such a device mentioned above. It will help with motor function difficulties. However, I am not 100% behind a chip that allows a person to control apps with a simple mental command. I’m afraid it will malfunction or have adverse health risks if it needs to be removed. These exact two scenarios were discussed at length in Projection.

I’ll admit, there were some pros and cons to the NFC chip in this book, Projection. Projecting memories from vacations and revisiting class discussions was quite nifty. However, displaying private fantasies or misleading memories has to go on the negative pile.

Every day, there are advances in science and technology. Before long, we could all be chipped at birth. What then? When will this madness stop?

As much as I love the advances of science and technology, sometimes I worry about how far people will push the boundaries to make life ‘easier’ for humankind.

Tabatha Shipley (the author) gave us many reasons why some things should not be invented. I know Emma (character) wishes she never received the implant.

Some things are better in the land of fantasy, and this was a great fantasy read.

With that said, I must point out there were several editing errors. If you can overlook them, and I’m sure you can, you’ll discovery a book with a solid plot, likable characters, and top-notch resolution.

 

Heart Rating System:

1 (lowest) and 5 (highest) 

Score: ❤❤❤❤

 

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Tabatha is the author of the Kingdom of Fraun series,Projection, and 30 Days Without Wings. She believes strongly in the power of helping others and is always willing to help out a fellow writer or reader. Find and connect with her on whichever social media platform you love best.

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November 6, 2019 · 5:00 am

Review of “Vices/Virtues” – Beatrice DeSoprontu

A sexy, erotic novel with heart, Vices/Virtues is a testament to the beauty of life, love and family.

Cristela was bred to be the perfect liar. By day, Cristela is a good-girl poster child. By night, Mistress Clara masters the hidden erotic realm of an S&M dungeon. With her knack for duplicity things should work smoothly except for one complication – friendship. The quirky array of fellow dominatrices at the dungeon are nothing like the stereotypes she expected. Divided between her affection for the girls at the dungeon and her desire to keep her fetish activities secret, Cristela fears her two worlds are colliding. Can Cristela break her history of deceit? In a world of vices and virtues, salvation isn’t something you find, it’s a path you make.

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(review request submitted by the author for an honest critique) 

 

In Vices/Virtues, Beatrice De Soprontu didn’t just write elaborate BDSM or S &M scenes. Each chapter did feature at least one client and their kink, but Beatrice also dived into the lives of each dominatrix. We stepped into their pasts and learned who or what brought them to the dungeon.

Some backstories were more interesting than others. I didn’t particularly care for Clara’s past, but I did find her present storyline appealing. No matter which dominatrix Beatrice featured, the result was the same, each lady had a troubled past and needed this outlet/job for personal reasons.

 

Let’s get kinky…

There were some clients I won’t soon forget. Funny, gross, sad, sweet, and just plain weird… Beatrice sure did enlighten this reader on a few kinks I had no clue existed.

 

Check out three of the many clients featured in Vices/Virtues.

 

Gluttony: I know there’s a kink for everything, BUT Mr. Chen’s took the cake. (This line will be funny once you read the chapter.) I laughed so hard my stomach hurt.

Temperance: Who is the right mind wants someone to step on their penis intentionally?! I mean, come on. I accidentally tap my husband’s and he’s down for the count for a minute or two. Yeah, Randall’s kink was rather weird.

Wrath: Mr. Norman + colon cleanse = I just threw up in my mouth.

 

I wish I could share all the various clients and their requests. Clara did see a variety of men, and not all were creepy or weird. You’ll discover some were sweet and a little sad.

One thing that did surprise me was the lack of female clients. Women are sexual beings who also need an outlet for their desires. Unfortunately, this wasn’t reflected in Vices/Virtues. It was pointed out on page 225 that Clara “hadn’t seen or even heard of a female client.” This declaration bothered me. I wondered why no women have walked into the dungeon. Seemed odd. Unrealistic.

 

There were a few HAPPY surprises I’d like to share as well.

1.) The ladies sitting around discussing religion was unexpected.

2.) Their pay scale was broken down, and I was shocked at how little they brought home. It didn’t seem like nearly enough for some jobs.

3.) There was definitely no Hallmark ending, but this was no Hallmark story either.

 

Heart Rating System:

1 (lowest) and 5 (highest) 

Score: ❤❤❤1/2

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Beatrice De Soprontu began writing at the age of four, when she scribbled on the walls with a crayon. Now an adult, she mostly scribbles on her home computer surrounded by her noisy children and their less noisy father. Born and raised in New York City, (which includes: Queens, Bronx, Brooklyn, maybe even Staten Island – a.k.a. the real New York and not the tourist trap that is Manhattan), she enthusiastically travels the world on a budget whenever she gets the chance.

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September 26, 2019 · 5:00 am

Review of “You Wish” – Mark Scott Piper

Imagine you are granted three wishes—and your second wish is captured by a television news crew and broadcast across the globe. Now the whole world knows you can wish for absolutely anything, and it will come true. Now imagine you’re fourteen years old…

Jake Parker is about to finish the freshman year of what’s shaping up to be a mediocre high school career. He’s a late bloomer. His family is living hand-to-mouth. And worst of all, he’s a nobody—until he discovers an ancient ship’s lantern. With everyone on the planet watching to see what Jake’s final wish will be, he becomes an instant media darling, and his social status at school skyrockets. That’s the good news.

The bad news is pressure is bearing down on Jake from family, public opinion, the media, government agents, and crooked politicians as he struggles to come up with a final wish that will truly help mankind. But if he’s going to pull that off, he has to outsmart them all.

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(review request submitted by the author for an honest critique) 

 

At a very young age, we all start making wishes. Whether we are sitting behind a birthday cake’s candle or looking up at the night sky, we think of what we want most and hope our wish or wishes come true.

In You Wish, Jake finds an old ship’s lantern and discoveries it has the power to grant wishes. The catch: You can’t say the wish out loud or disclose your wish. If you do, the wish is recanted.

Like Jake, I think many of us would accidentally wish for something ridiculous. This magical blunder could really happen…if magic really existed.

As for Jake’s other wishes: The second one was caught on camera, viewed by onlookers and broadcasted around the globe. The repercussions were instant. Jake’s life was turned upside down. All eyes were on him to see what he’d wish for next. Many people had insights what he should wish for and the consequences of said wish(es).

End world hunger, cure cancer, world peace, wealth… Jake had so many suggestions thrown at him including one from the President of the United States. The POTUS’ wish was absolutely something I could see our current President asking for because he’s… well, I won’t tarnish this review by stating my feelings on the current White House resident.

When the world is watching your every move, the level of stress to make the right choice must be astronomical. I wouldn’t want to be in Jake’s shoes. I must reiterate, Jake’s life wasn’t his own anymore. Even his family was impacted by Jake’s sudden fame.

It’s nice to think about what if I had three wishes, but in actuality, I wouldn’t want three wishes because it’s too much pressure. However, it was NO pressure getting through this story. This book is worth reading whether you are a teenager, an older individual, or somewhere in between. So, pick it up and start reading it today!

Heart Rating System:

1 (lowest) and 5 (highest) 

Score:  ❤❤❤❤

 

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Mark Scott Piper has been writing professionally his entire adult life. He is a longtime freelance writer and video director/producer. Mark holds an MA and a PhD in English from the University of Oregon, and he has taught literature and writing at the college level for several years.

Mark’s bookshelves are overflowing. Among his favorites are Christopher Moore, John Irving, Barbara Kingsolver, Stephen Crane, William Faulkner, Tony Hillerman, Fyodor Dostoevsky and Anne Lamott–all of whom successfully conspire to keep him humble.

Mark has written four novels, three screenplays and more than 16 short stories. You Wish is his debut novel.

His stories have appeared in Short Story America, The California Writers Club Literary Review, and online literary magazines, including, Scrutiny, Writing Raw, Animal, Slurve, and others. In addition, two of his short stories have been Honorable Mention selections in Short Story America Prize for Short Fiction contests.

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