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Never Kiss a Crocodile Never Slap a Skunk: A field guide to ominous animals by Rocky Leplin (Book Review)

Don’t be afraid of a book! Just the animals in this one! Never Kiss a Crocodile, Never Slap a Skunk is a stimulating way to introduce young people to some of the perils of the natural world—and why they command respect. With full color photos, and a fun fact about each one, Crocodile is a series of humorous rhymed verse poems about 24 animals:

  • RISKY REPTILES — rattlesnakes, pythons, crocodiles
  • FEARSOME FISH AND FRIENDS — sawfish, stingrays, electric eels, piranhas, man-eating clams, Portuguese man o’ wars, stonefish, and great white sharks
  • BAD NEWS BIRD — vultures
  • AGONIZING ARACHNIDS — tarantulas, black widow spiders and scorpions
  • IRRITATING INSECTS — killer bees, driver ants
  • MUTINOUS MAMMALS — porcupines, rhinos, grizzly bears, tigers, vampire bats, and skunks

Never Kiss a Crocodile is the sixth book of rhymed verse poetry, most of them about mythical and imaginary creatures, by Rocky Leplin. But it’s the first that is non-fiction, though with Leplin’s signature semi-eccentric edge.

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I received a complimentary copy of this book from Reedsy Discovery. I voluntarily chose to read and post an honest review.

 

Never Kiss a Crocodile, Never Slap a Skunk is a thrilling guide that uses photography, catchy titles, fun facts, and “humorous rhymed verse poetry” to educate and entertain readers about 24 animals in the following categories: “Risky Reptiles,” “Fearsome Fish and Friends,” “Bad News Bird,” “Agonizing Arachnids,” “Irritating Insects,” and “Mutinous Mammals.” The exhilarating adventure begins with the notorious rattlesnake who, fun fact, the writer states won’t attack unless you try and pick one up. Let’s all agree not to test that theory! Two more reptilians make up the first category before readers move on to the second category, which is also the largest: “Fearsome Fish and Friends.”

Most adults and some kids have seen or at least heard of a sawfish before; however, they might not know the fish are ovoviviparous. The writer didn’t add a punctuation key for the tongue-twisted word or define it, which was an overlooked key element! The author provided numerous facts about the remaining eight creatures under the sea. For example, I discovered piranhas can bark. I also learned the length of a blue-ringed octopus’s arms and how long a Portuguese man o’ war tentacle can be! Oh, readers will find out which fish can roll their eyes! And, thanks to a brilliantly crafted poem, which underwater doesn’t mind eating hair, and which one looks like coral but is definitely not coral.

The book discusses ONE “Bad New Bird” before entering the world of arachnids and insects. Visually, these were my least favorite sections. I liked the facts, though! The poems were okay; they were less engaging and entertaining than the reptiles’. But that is just my opinion; read each section and vote for your favorite!

Finally, book lovers are treated to “Mutinous Animals,” featuring porcupines, rhinos, grizzly bears, tigers, vampire bats, and skunks. Did you know experts theorize that even skunks hate their defensive odor? What about this one: bats can jump? More tantalizing tidbits are ready to discover along the pages of Never Kiss a Crocodile, Never Slap a Skunk. I recommend reading it even if poetry isn’t your favorite literary genre. The fun factoids are worth the read!

There were a few editing mistakes, and I didn’t see the point of the marble image and its grizzly-themed poem. It was unnecessary and hindered the flow of the story. Overall, Never Kiss a Crocodile, Never Slap a Skunk is a wonderful resource book that I suggest sharing with your family or class. I also recommend checking out Rocky Leplin’s other books of rhymed verse!

Amazon’s suggested reading age is 10-16 years. Younger audiences would also enjoy the photos, fun facts, and (maybe) some or all the poems.

Heart Rating System:
1 (lowest) and 5 (highest) 
Score: 

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Meet the Author

Rocky Leplin graduated from the UCLA Film School, and has a Master’s in Music. He is the author of nine books, 500 songs, and two musicals. Two of his MG short stories have won awards, and his zany “manual” A Psycho’s Guide to Animal Companionship, was a Finalist in the 2023 Indie Book Awards.

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Blaze Union and the Puddin’ Head Schools by W.T. Kosmos (Book Review)

A divided nation has a ludicrous new hope.

 

Welcome to Island Nation, where powerful knuckleheads have turned schools into battlegrounds between the Puddin’ Heads and Sweeties. Amidst this turmoil, hope emerges in the form of a courageous teen on a mission to lead the nation’s schools. Narrated by a sarcastic teacher, this 2023 Mark Twain Book Award finalist is a “gloriously absurd” adventure (Kirkus Reviews) in the spirit of George Orwell, Douglas Adams, and Terry Pratchett. Dive into a world of social absurdities and laugh-out-loud moments in this sharp, satirical romp through the madness of modern life.

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(review request submitted by the author for an honest critique) 

 

Our nation is divided. People on the right and left sides of the aisle can’t come together and agree 100% on anything. Their gut reaction to hearing the opposing side draft an idea is to say, “No.” Every day, the U.S. is taking giant steps back. Blaze Union and the Puddin’ Head Schools take creative liberties over things that have occurred throughout history. That is happening today! In this chapter book, people are grouped into two categories: Smalls and Bigs. This grouping is related to a person’s hand size. Big-handed people are seen as “lesser than” beings and have more restrictions put upon them. They couldn’t lead anything, such as teams or bands, and had to pay higher school fees. Many BIGS drop out of school over the high fees.

Past or present, we’ve all witnessed people in power make decisions that suit their agendas. Citizens have lost some of their rights because of it. As our next BIG election nears, we could see more of our freedoms vanish. Blaze and Chopper are two teens who are ready to help make change happen in their fictional world. But, like in the real world, change won’t happen if brave individuals don’t stand up for their rights. Blaze and their growing numbers of supporters want the three F’s: freedom, fairness, and fabulous schools. Students, teachers, and parents do not want absurd rules thrust upon them.

What they do want is this: Stop with the book bans. Stop rewriting history. Encourage free thinkers. Executives should not be swimming in cash while middle and lower-class individuals fight to pay medical bills and school fees.

 

Blaze (Puddin’ Head) and Kai (Sweetie) were adversaries, each blaming all their problems on the opposing side. After visiting the five regions and seeing each other’s schools in action, they realized this was not a one-sided problem. It was a universal issue. The narrator quickly learned that there were schools worse off than theirs. Kai, Blaze, and Chopper soon realized that some schools, their curriculum, and their leaders were bat-shit crazy. (Talkin’ like a pirate School Boss J.R. as one example!)

 

Here’s one crazy school scene from each side

Cape Freedom, Puddin’ Head Region 3: Students are forced to eat spicy chips and boosters of varying degrees. Goal: They must handle the heat for one minute without drinking water. The longer they forego liquid assistance, the stronger the immunity from the Sweetie Zombies. An absurd idea, right?! Here’s another: At Sweetie Experimental High School, students are forced to handle extremely hot peppers (like the ghost pepper) with zero protective gear. This school was permanently harming and disfiguring their students. Another absurd idea! (Remember, readers, the author promised absurdity. *smiley face*)

 

Kai, Blaze, and Chopper didn’t have time or resources to tour every school; they agreed that there were good teachers out there, but things still needed to change. For that to happen, they needed cash. The supreme prime minister decided that whoever won the football (aka soccer) game would win the ultimate prize: Noble Deed for each winning team member. Their represented leader would be granted a hefty budget, too. The Sweeties versus Puddin’ game had a very shocking and funny moment. The game’s conflicting results set the stage for what would happen next. Hint: The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

 

The author and narrator promised absurdity, and they delivered. I laughed at many scenes and dialogue. I’m going to find a way to include “Moldy fart tart” in a future conversation. While this story is built around absurdities, it does touch upon things in real life: demands to “build a wall,” banning books, political leaders doubling down on lies, and leaders with NO educational degree deciding what should or should not be taught in schools. The characters demonstrate that both sides (red and blue) can come together harmoniously for the betterment of all! Readers, don’t be afraid to speak up and ask for change. And remember to work with others instead of butting heads with them. Oh, and thank your lucky stars, you don’t have to play tag like the students had to at Hard Rocks High School.


Blaze Union and the Puddin’ Head Schools had comedic moments, but sometimes, the book moved at a snail’s pace. Also, a noogie between friends is done in jest, but Kai and Blaze were not friends and opposite sexes; therefore, I do not think Kai (boy) should’ve given Blaze (girl) a noogie. Some people (I won’t say which side of the aisle) might have issues with kids laying hands on the school boss, causing him to break several bones. Burning of school property might also be a hot-button item for some individuals. 

The recommended reading age for the satirical fiction story is 12-18 years.

 

Heart Rating System:
1 (lowest) and 5 (highest) 
Score:  ❤❤❤❤

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Meet the Author

W.T. Kosmos is a humorist author and playwright whose works include the award-winning Blaze Union and the Puddin’ Head Schools, the Maya and Waggers series, and The Golden One. W.T. Kosmos is the wry alter ego (pen name) of a life-long educator.

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The Golden One: A Comedy by W.T. Kosmos (Play Review)

WANTED: A GOLDEN LEADER TO RESTORE THE MONARCHY

 

The Golden One is a one-act satirical comedy that lampoons loyalty to authoritarian figures, intolerance, and environmental mayhem. After the monarchy falls, the Lumberjack Leprechauns hold a costume contest to find their next golden leader.

For generations, the loyal Lumberjack Leprechauns have followed their king’s orders to find the great pot o’ gold buried underneath trees. But when President Leafhopper, an ally of the dreaded Tree Huggers, wins the first democratic election and enforces deforestation regulations, their world is turned upside down. With their leader Stumpsharp captured after a disastrous attempt to storm the castle, Axestorm, Chopwit, and Sawdunce devise an ingenious method for finding their next golden leader: a costume contest in the North Woods. Ingenious, that is, until eccentric contestants and a lively audience challenge their quest to restore the monarchy.

 

W.T. Kosmos, humorist author of the award-winning Blaze Union and the Puddin’ Head Schools, presents his debut play for teens and adults, designed for 6 to 15 actors and minimal props.


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(review request submitted by the author for an honest critique) 

 

The Golden One is a one-act satirical comedy whose roles are not gender-specific, as the author states in the “Directing Notes.” The writer also states that this play is designed for six or more actors with minimal props needed.

Tis true, there are some props that many theater groups will have no trouble acquiring, such as the spoons and pan hat for Thumper or a robe for the Guide. I also suspect finding or making green goggles wouldn’t be hard. But the uniquely designed catapult? The writer does provide “notes” on it. I suspect many production companies would not want to rely on puppets or shadow play. They might want to tackle something more dynamic. I’m not sure how they’d bring the leprechaun catapult scene to life, but I’m sure any end product will amaze the audience. (Read the play to find out more about it.) Oh, and depending on the actors’ closets, they might have on-hand costumes the contestants wore in front of the judges: the Lumberjack Leprechauns.

Speaking of the leprechauns, they are holding a costume contest to find “The Golden One.” This chosen person will help them storm the castle, oust the prez, release their leader Stumpsharp, and restore the monarchy. Why? The lumberjacks want to chop down as many trees as much as they like, find the pot o’ gold, and end democracy. Hefty goals! Do they achieve their goals? You’ll find that out once you read the play!

Actors will undoubtedly have a blast playing any role in this comedic masterpiece. The audience will laugh as they listen to the judge’s bickering and watch as Pig and Sheep approach the judge’s table or listen to the Nurse whine about her thirst. They’ll especially get a kick out of Thumper’s battle gear. And Willow’s interaction with the judges will have viewers on the edge of their seats!

There is a lot of comedy in the one-act play. There is also political undertones. Mainly, what’s the point of democracy? Adults know the answer to that, but kids might not. President Leafhopper breaks it down as he attempts to prove why the judges should select him as the winner! Does he win the coveted prize? Read the play and find out!

While I enjoyed reading the play, certain scenes would only be fully appreciated if acted out on stage or screen. I’m not sure how the two versions of the storming of the castle would play out on a stage, but I would love a theatre company to give it a go. I would even watch a cartoon, live-action TV show, or cinema version. I’m not picky; someone, please make this happen!

 

Heart Rating System:
1 (lowest) and 5 (highest) 
Score: 
 
 
 
 
 

Meet the Author

W.T. Kosmos is a humorist author and playwright whose works include the award-winning Blaze Union and the Puddin’ Head Schools, the Maya and Waggers series, and The Golden One. W.T. Kosmos is the wry alter ego (pen name) of a life-long educator.

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Cruel Lessons (Lessons in Peril Book 1) by Randy Overbeck (Book Review)

On a school camping trip, fifth graders experiment with a dangerous new hallucinogen and die in a horrific accident, their deaths shattering the quiet town. Assistant Superintendent Ken Parks, hoping to redeem a fatal mistake from his past, grasps the opportunity to conduct the district investigation of how students are getting the drugs. Almost before he begins, the cops make a stunning arrest. But Parks battles on, convinced the real pusher is still out there, poisoning more kids until he receives an anonymous threat: if he continues, those close to him will pay. Is Parks willing to risk those he loves for a chance at redemption?

Preorder now: Amazon Purchase Link

 

(review request submitted by the author for an honest critique) 

 

Cruel Lessons was a 457-page novel (print edition) that touched on a sensitive real-life issue: drugs in school. It’s common for young adults to experiment with pot, cigarettes, or alcohol. The age bracket partaking in illegal drugs exists well before high school. Cruel Lessons features the effects of drug use among 11 to 13-year-olds. Drugs are entering Foster Middle School, mainly a hallucinogen-inducing wolf tattoo. Once the young buyer presses the drug to their skin, their time is almost up. 

Cops witness numerous horrific crime scenes through their time on the force; the death of 4 young boys close to the science camp will haunt their dreams for a long time, maybe forever. 

The school board asked Ken to take point and find out how the kids got a hold of the drugs and discover if the school was liable for their deaths. The board seemed more interested if they would get sued or not. I wasn’t surprised people valued the bottom line over the loss of 4 lives. 

Ken, not a trained investigator, began to work the case. He interviewed staff members and students and enlisted the help of Bart (resource officer). His “meddling” was not appreciated by the dealer, “the doctor.” Lives were lost in the pursuit of justice. A popular teacher was fighting to prove her innocence. Through all the school drama, readers also watched love triangles unfold in the background. Wow, the cheating spouses drama could be its own soap opera. While I understand each purpose in the story, I wanted their faithful spouses to discover their misdeeds. I wanted more drama! 

The list of suspects was long. Who brought the tattoos into the school and how they did it might stun you. As you work the case with Ken and Bart, do not write off a suspect so quickly. At the end of the story, I had 75% of the resolution figured out. I was wrong about one prime suspect, which falls in the 25% category. 

Cruel Lessons will keep you guessing. When you think you figured it out, the author throws you a curveball. The uncertainty, the twists, kept me going back for more. Even though I loved the book, it left me with many unanswered questions. To avoid giving out spoilers, I will refrain from elaborating on what puzzled me. 

If you like crime stories that take time to solve, this book is for you! 

 

Heart Rating System:
1 (lowest) and 5 (highest) 
Score:  

Releases 10/11/23: Preorder (Amazon) Link

 

 

Meet the Author

Dr. Randy Overbeck is an award-winning educator, author and speaker. As an educator, he served children for more than three decades in a range of roles captured in his novels, from teacher and coach to principal and superintendent. His thriller, LEAVE NO CHILD BEHIND (2012) and his recent mysteries, the Amazon No. 1 Best Seller, BLOOD ON THE CHESAPEAKE (2019), CRIMSON AT CAPE MAY (2020) and SCARLET AT CRYSTAL RIVER (2021) have earned five star reviews and garnered national awards including “Thriller of the Year”—ReadersFavorite.com, “Gold Award”—Literary Titan, “Mystery of the Year”—ReadersView.com and “Crowned Heart of Excellence”—InD’Tale Magazine.

As a member of the Mystery Writers of America, Dr. Overbeck is an active member of the literary community, contributing to a writers’ critique group, serving as a mentor to emerging writers and participating in writing conferences such as Sleuthfest, Killer Nashville and the Midwest Writers Workshop. When he’s not writing or researching his next exciting novel or sharing his presentation “Things Still Go Bump in the Night,” he’s spending time with his incredible family of wife, three children (and their spouses) and seven wonderful grandchildren.

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“Save Our Animal Friends” and “Kids Can Change the World” by Benjamin Goldstein (2 Book Spotlight)

The World Patrol Kids give a concert in Kenya, to raise money for the National Game Preserves. The next day on Safari the World Patrol Kids run into trouble with an armed band of poachers who traffic in ivory and endangered species. In addition to the fast-paced adventure story, there are eight pages of puzzles, games, and other activities. The World Patrol Kids comic/activity books feature a multi-ethnic, crime-solving, environmental kids singing and dancing group, (ages 10-14) that takes on polluters, climate change, and traffickers in endangered species.

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Empowering Eco-Adventure for Young Readers!

The World Patrol Kids tackle pollution head-on when medical waste ruins their beach. This suspense-filled action adventure comic , perfect for middle-grade readers, is enhanced with 8 pages of interactive fun.

Packed with facts, puzzles, and games, it’s an engaging journey that encourages positive change. Join the young heroes and embark on an eco-adventure that empowers and educates.

Start your mission to make a difference today!

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Meet the Author

Ben has written, illustrated, produced, and directed books, films, plays, and songs, for Sesame Street, 3-2-1 Contact, Columbia Records, and many others. He has written for such licensed characters as Clifford the Dog, Snuggle the Bear, Rainbow Brite, Sweet Pickles, and more. Ben has an early childhood teacher’s license and has taught grades K-6. He also taught film courses at Western Connecticut State College. His children’s songs have sold millions of copies and his films have appeared at the Museum of Modern Art and on television stations around the world. Other books and plays by Benjamin Goldstein include: The Adventures of the World Patrol Kids, Kids, Kids Can Change the World, Garbage Can Drive You Crazy, Save Our Animal Friends, Looice, Been Dere?, Looice in the Stargarden, Looice Walks for President, Guess Again, Tales of the Baal Shem Tov, The Storyteller, An Evening with Jack and Charmian London, Jack London: The Musical.
 
 
 
 

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