NIGHTMARES IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD is a sequel to HORRORS OF THE HOUSEHOLD.But is it SCARIER? Or does that depend on what page you’re on?
The DOORKNOB DEMON probably isn’t too scary, unless of course you’re trying to turn a doorknob. But what about other creatures FROM HERE TO THE CORNER? Here are three.
TREE TROLLS, TREE TROLLS, they’re hungry and they have no souls!
So should you want to hug a tree
Be sure it’s all there is to see.
Or Snap! (your spine), and Crack! (your back),
When the tree you’re hugging hugs you back.
THE SIDEWALK SERPENT
sucks your bones out through your skin
Till you’re narrow as a pin,
And doesn’t stop till the sidewalk
Bangs your chin.
THE LAMPOST GENIE
Lights its globe
In a manner quite insane:
It draws off the electricity
You use to light your brain.
HORRORS JUST A STROLL FROM HOME features some bad dudes, such as
THE PIGEON IMPOSTER
It looks just like a pigeon;
It pecks just like one too,
But after it’s through digesting its food,
It drops what’s left on you.
THE DUMPSTER MUMMY
Will shriek just for the shock,
Blasting foul breath in your face,
Then plunge you deep in the dumpster’s
Oozy, putrid, rank embrace.
THE APARTMENT BUILDING BORE
is never angry, never sore.
Its voice is never loud,
It doesn’t scream, it doesn’t roar.
It talks to you in monotones,
Its voice just drones…and drones…and drones…
Like the tones of ancient telephones
Or the moan of wind across dry bones.
And watch out for WEIRD WALLS,
When you’re snoozing in your bed,
Walls you breathe in through your nose
That tunnel through your head.
The closer to the edge of town you get,
The more challenging are the circumstances.
If you catch TUNNELITIS,
You’ll hear harsh noises in the dark—
A hiss, a howl, a growl, a bark,
A flutter of many wings, and then
The mutterings of mad old men.
In the GHOST MALL
Though the air feels motionless,
Drafts sigh through the holes
Of the donuts in the donut shop
Like the cries of long lost souls.
The male mannequins look lifeless,
But then you see what’s wrong:
Their chins sprout hair, and their fingernails
Are several inches long.
They rise up from their pedestals
And writhe around in the air,
As if they’re being tortured
By the clothes they have to wear.
I can’t expose to anyone reading this to the POPCORN PANIC, or the TRAINIAC. You’re probably too young!
Finally, farther than the edge of town, there is THE VISITOR.
They found it there one midnight
It had washed up on the shore
And no one ever said
That they had seen it there before.
But they must have all been waiting for it,
That’s how it looked to me—
For several days I’d seen them
Standing staring out to sea.
Read Nightmares in the Neighborhood at your own risk! The author is not responsible for the cost in time and treasure to revive someone who has fainted dead away.
Meet the Author
Rocky Leplin
Author of six books of rhymed verse, including the epic novel Humphrey’s Long Journey Away from the Sea.
In 2020 he was a winner of the Writers Digest Writing Competition for his story The Incredible Man-Eating Marshmallow.
In 2022 his wacky how-not-to manual A Psycho’s Guide to Animal Companionship— Instructions for the abnormal pet companion was a Finalist in the Next Generation Indie Book Awards.
In 2023 he was a winner of the Writers Digest Writing Competition for his poem The Apartment Building Bore.
In 2024 he was a Finalist in the Humor category of the Next Generation Short Story Awards for his story The Tumultuous Tire Revolution.
He has written three novels, the musical The Purpose of the Moon and over 500 songs, many of which can be heard on this website.
His next publication is called Never Kiss a Crocodile, Never Slap a Skunk, a field guide to ominous animals.
